super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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