True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Pants are for mortals
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
