You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
