Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
