My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
