I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
