I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
