He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
So vagazzling was a success
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
