dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
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I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
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do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
If I die, sorry about rent.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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