For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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