real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
