driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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