i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
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My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
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I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
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