But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
