i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
