everyone is single if you try hard enough
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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