When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
