I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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