and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
