Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
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