He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
can u get pink eye on your cock?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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