terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Randomize
