It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
