She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
you win again, gameday.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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