He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Randomize
