And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
