Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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