he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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