i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
