now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
