Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
well most of my day revolves around power hour
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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