Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I have grass duct taped all over my body
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
