I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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