She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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