At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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