You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
