Someone shit on the floor
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
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