I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
