alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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