so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
