i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
