best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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