What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
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