Yo dont text me then not text me
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
