i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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