Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
