never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
