you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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