I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
