idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Randomize
