OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
