Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
