Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
