4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
