can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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