Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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