Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
