I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Randomize
