Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I intend to get homeless drunk
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize